The story so far: Augie Bari, community leader in his
East Bay town, has found himself in not so great a place. His son Danny has probably lost the family
fortunes to the New Jersey mob and to collect, the boys from Newark are aiming
for Augie. To counter them, Augie has
called upon his now Russian Sicilian relatives who have agreed to make their
presence known. Meanwhile Augie is
getting worried about caring for his estate (small wonder) and has contacted
his well-heeled attorney, Portofino Van Steel to draw up a new estate
plan. His bookie daughter (only we know)
and his socialite daughter (everybody knows) have both moved back to town with
their new families.
Augie was always uncomfortable coming into Portofino’s office. Dark oak paneling, decorated in every available spot with paintings of man triumphing over small animals, was accentuated with the smell of old books and furniture polish. The place made Augie think of a funeral parlor more than a law office. “There really is no accounting for taste. “ he thought. “Maybe it is Porto’s Dutch side that makes him need this dreary place to work.”
Porto, used to his clients being what he thought was impressed with his surroundings, leaned back in his high backed leather chair and played the role of the omnipotent counselor.
“Augie, I’m glad you came in. I want to hear about how everybody is doing. I hear that Maggie and Anna are moving back into town. You must be really excited. But, I am curious why all of a sudden you feel a need to make estate plans? After all, despite my nagging, you did nothing when the kids were young which is when you probably needed it the most,” jibed the attorney.
“Look, Porto, I will make no bones about it. I don’t have time to socialize. Maybe next time we meet at the club bar. I need to move fast on a new will because I think my boy Danny has been up to something and I know for sure that he has got me in a bucket of trouble.”
“Augie, I need to know what is happening. Maybe I can help” volunteered Porto.
“No Porto, this is a family thing. Just do the will as I tell you to and you will have done what I want. It is important that we do it all right now.”
“OK, my friend. We will do what you want. But it is not right. You need a trust to avoid probate and you need to start thinking about ways to not give all of your estate to the government” pleaded Porto.
“I don’t want to. Maybe later. Right now, I feel that will be someone else’s problem.” replied Augie who then proceeded to set out what he wanted in the will.
Porto was aghast at what he heard, but took careful notes, prepared the necessary document (it was pretty simple) as Augie waited, and had him execute the will in the presence of Porto and his secretary.
“This document is going to create quite a stir if it is ever admitted to probate,” thought Porto as he watched Augie cautiously cross Grand Avenue to his car. “Maybe I’ll be able to convince him to change it soon. But if he doesn’t, I just hope I have a piece of the litigation.”
Augie had his mind on other things as he drove toward home up Harrison. Before he got to the underpass he turned right and headed for an apartment on Adam’s Point that he had kept for many years. It was a building he bought in the early 70’s when the area was really hurting and he felt he had invested well. He used one of the units as a place for visitors and sometimes exchange students so they wouldn’t have to stay in the house. Now he had a different kind of visitor, this one from Russia, and he was no exchange student. Augie hoped he would save his life.
So Augie has now written a terrible will that his lawyer knows will create problems on his death. Usually that means somebody is getting excluded, but maybe not. We will have to wait for Augie to visit Mountain View cemetery before we find out what is in it- unless; of course he changes his mind. Meanwhile the odds are increasing that somebody is going to provide Porto with some post mortem planning opportunities.
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